Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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