that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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