her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
