I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
