Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
