I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize