I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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