I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
