ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
