The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
