i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
