Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
