Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize