dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
