I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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