I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
