Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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