bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
