I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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