What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize