YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
