This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
