After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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