Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
