I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
