i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
