dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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