so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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