The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize