it was like eating out sand paper
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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