he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
