hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
