I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
