"it" just moved
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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