We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize