all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
