She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
