Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
