she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Actions speak louder than pants.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
