He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
