Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I love having hate sex.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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