He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Mom said you looked used
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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