I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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