you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
