i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
