I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
