her vagine was all disorganized.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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