How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
