please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
