I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
