I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize