So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
