One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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