I have demons in me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am naked and annoyed.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
