I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
