You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
