Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize