All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
