how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
