Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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